It’s Always Snowing in Nova Scotia: Gay Porn

July 12, 2009 at 6:06 pm 3 comments

I’m dreaming about Mega Man. More specifically, I’m dreaming about the original NES game; the whole thing is even in 8-Bit. It’s fun, and I’m reluctant to wake up even after Danielle starts talking to me and asking questions.

“So you’ll do it? Awesome”

“Wha…” I say. “Huh?”

I come back to full consciousness, covered in cats. Danielle is on the phone. I’ve apparently just agreed to take part in a LARP.

*****

Danielle has a history of trying to talk me into strange things. There was a period where she decided it would be best for me if I was gay, and tried her best to gently nudge me in that direction. For the most part it was just little things, like saying “girls are too much trouble” and telling me that if I were gay, she would support me. One time, though, we were trading reading recommendations when Danielle suggested I give a certain comic book I try. I looked it up.

“Dani”, I said, “this is gay porn”.

After that Danielle’s efforts sort of faltered. I think she came to terms with my sexuality.

Needless to say, things with me and Dani have always been pretty weird. Even so, she’s pretty much my best friend. For awhile she was my only friend; when I moved from Amherst to Winnipeg I had a hard time meeting people, and Dani was the only person I got to talk to regularly. When I went to England and the timezone difference made communication difficult I would stay up until 3AM just to get a chance to talk to her. More than anyone else in the world, Danielle has always been there for me. We trust each other unconditionally, respect each other immensely, care about each other infinitely.

So I’m understandably worried I’ll break her heart when I tell her I’ll never see her again.

*****

I let Dani know I don’t feel up to LARPing and she starts making calls to get me out of it. Eventually the whole thing gets canceled anyway, making the point moot, and the two of us spend the rest of the morning watching videos on the internet.

From here the the conversation turns to internet fandom. Dani tells me about weird piece of video game fandom she found; Kingdom Hearts II characters drawn as Pokemon, then changed back to humans, who then have Pokemon children that later turn into humans. Someone went through the effort to create this. Then, someone else drew fanart of it.

“Wow,” I say. “I think that’s one step removed from total entropy.” In return, I tell her about Dragon Ball Z/Diary of Anne Frank crossover fan fiction I once saw.

It’s taken me three years to get back to Amherst, and so far I’ve wasted most of my time talking about comic books and things on the internet. This may be my last visit, too; because of the cost, distance, and the life I’m building, I’m not sure I’ll ever come back. I’ve got to stop wasting time. I’ve got to get serious, have an adult conversation. I have to break the news.

I turn to Danielle. “You realize I’m probably never coming back, right?”

To my surprise, her reply is nonchalant. “We didn’t expect you to come back this time.”

*****

Dani goes to shower, and not knowing what else to do I get on the computer. It’s been two days since I’ve checked my e-mail, and I have about a million messages. At first I’m not sure why, until I remember that yesterday was my birthday. Beth even sent me a birthday haiku:

“You don’t want people
to remember your birthday
so I fucked your mom”

Thanks, Beth.

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Free Music Monday Free Music Monday 2: Electric Boogaloo

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Dani  |  July 13, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    *hug*

    Reply
  • 2. Dani  |  July 14, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Also, what comic was that? I don’t remember suggesting you should read gay porn :P

    Reply
    • 3. elminko  |  August 10, 2009 at 5:03 am

      I forget the details. All I remember is that you sent me a bunch of yaoi.

      Reply

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