In Which we Learn Why my Roomate Hates Me

February 1, 2009 at 7:05 pm 6 comments

Do you ever get morning amnesia? That bizarre state of mind when you first wake up where you can’t remember what’s real and what isn’t?

Yesterday morning I woke up thinking this: “Did… did I buy a horse recently? That would be a really bad investment.”

You would not believe how relieved I was when I realized I had not, in fact, bought a horse.

*****

In other news; for some time now, my roommate has been dating Katrina, who’s a friend of mine. This gives me the opportunity to hear all sorts of embarrassing stories about him and totally screw with his head.

With this in mind, I made this request to Katrina the other day; “Next time you two are having sex, could you shout out ‘do me harder, Hipster Batman’?”

Though I was asleep at the time, I have independent confirmation that not only did this take place, but that my roommate spent the next few minutes loudly cursing my name.

I feel this went as well as it possibly could have. Now all I have to worry about is my comeuppance.

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In Which we Learn that Everything is Fantastic Metablogging

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. jon  |  February 2, 2009 at 12:10 am

    I.Love.You.

    Reply
  • 2. Said Girlfriend  |  February 2, 2009 at 7:03 am

    His exact words:

    “Fuck you Jacob. Fuck you. So. Hard.”

    Reply
  • 3. elminko  |  February 2, 2009 at 7:55 am

    Oddly, WordPress is listing my post “The Haunted Unicycle” under the ‘possibly related’ links. I honestly can’t imagine why.

    And oh hey. Apparently Katrina reads my blog. How long has this been going on for?

    Reply
  • 4. jon  |  February 2, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    in response to him saying “Fuck you Jacob. Fuck you. So. Hard.”

    Tell him only if you can call him Mr. Stark. during

    Reply
  • 5. Dani  |  February 2, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    Yeah that’s an awkward sort of thing to say while you’re boinking your lady friend. Only slightly more awkward than what she said lol.

    Reply
  • 6. stephen  |  February 6, 2009 at 3:25 am

    No one is worried about the fact that Jacob’s subconcious is focusing on a horse purchase. I think he needs therapy. Or is a robot. Hopefully not the robot one, since then he’d have to be destroyed.

    Reply

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