Archive for January, 2009

In Which we Learn that Everything is Fantastic

Has anyone seen the National Republican Congressional Committee website? Specifically, the section on the economy?

Image courtesy of Daily Kos

Image courtesy of Daily Kos

It’s good to know these guys took care of everything and everything is wonderful again. I honestly can’t imagine what Obama will do with his time now.

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January 23, 2009 at 9:21 pm 3 comments

Frogger Rampage Kills Seven

The greatest headline I have seen in some time:

“Authorities Investigate Pacman’s Role in Shooting”

Oh, Adam “Pacman” Jones; you are a constant source of unintentional video game related hilarity.

January 23, 2009 at 5:48 pm Leave a comment

“How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!”

Something that occurred to me as I was doing research for a much longer blog post:

What if George Bush Sr. was a tragic King Lear figure, driven to despair and madness after seeing the country he once ruled ruined by his son? What if he had become so outraged at his son’s disrespect and boorishness that he had run against him in the 2004 election, seeking a long-delayed second term?

And what if he had won?

I feel this would be a much more interesting, and possibly better, universe than we live in.

January 16, 2009 at 7:01 am 8 comments

Quick Update

Right now I’m supposed to be working on a pitch for my screenwriting class. Whatever movie idea I decide to use will end up being the script I have to work on for the rest of the year. I will be doing this pitch at the front of class, to be judged by all my peers.

Instead of working on it, I’m reading webcomics.

What the hell is wrong with me?

*****

Question: Would it be possible for someone to hold a Mario Bros. themed Mardi Gras party, thus creating a Super Mario Gras?

January 15, 2009 at 3:22 am 2 comments

The Sport of Kings

Perhaps you’ve heard of Wikiball; it’s a game where you try to chart a course between two completely unrelated Wikipedia articles, using nothing but in-article links to navigate. In the interest of science I’ve decided to give this game a try and reproduce the results for you here. I’ll be trying to get from an article on Woody Guthrie (today’s Featured Article) to an article on court reporters, which I picked using the Random Article button.

1) Folk musician Woody Guthrie has several songs archived in the Library of Congress.

2) After much of it’s collection was destroyed in the War of 1812, the Library of Congress received 6487 books from Thomas Jefferson.

3) Thomas Jefferson believed that separation of church and state was guaranteed under the First Amendment.

4) Cases pertaining to the First Amendment are often heard by the Supreme Court of the United States. (In retrospect, I could have gotten here straight from the Jefferson article).

5) The Supreme Court is one of many Constitutional Courts.

6) Constitutional Courts are one of the many types of court systems….

7) …that make up Courts of Law, which regularly employ court reporting.

8) This court reporting is done by court reporters.

There we go. Success in eight steps. What have we learned from this, dear readers?

We’ve learned that Wikiball is actually kind of boring.

January 10, 2009 at 11:08 pm 3 comments

No ‘Portal’ References, Unfortunately

Not-so-interesting fact; some people find it really unusual that I bake. I can’t really imagine why; it’s easy, and the results are delicious.

The other day, as the result of a bet, I baked my first cake. The bet in question involved my friend Ruhi, who you may recall from older posts. Ruhi tends to get stressed out during exams and ends up going a little crazy; last year she spent two weeks living off Red Bull and cigarettes, substituting intense studying for eating food. This year I told her that if she managed to keep herself together, I’d bake her a cake.

I can happily say that the bet was won. Ruhi kept herself together, I made her a cake, and it turned out to be pretty delicious. It is a victory for all involved.

*****

Did you know the Romans were the first internet trolls? When writing, they used all caps and didn’t punctuate.

January 10, 2009 at 12:17 am 3 comments

Contrasts

Vancouver is fantastic.

When I left Winnipeg the temperature had warmed up, a comparatively pleasant -14C rather than the -40C that had come before. Unfortunately this shift was accompanied by a deluge of snow that delayed my plane for two hours. When I finally managed to board we had to spend another half-hour waiting while crews sprayed the plane down with some kind of de-icing agent. I marked it down as one last fuck-you from the City on the Edge of Hell.

I was seated in the emergency exit row. Halfway through the flight I was struck by the urge to rip the door from the wall and leap from the plane after it. It was my hope that, in the fleeting moments before I died, I would finally live again.

Instead I counted to ten, breathed deeply and cradled one of those small plastic cups they give you with your drink.

All considered, I think I handled my time in Winnipeg well.

*****

Right now Vancouver is covered in a thick layer of snow. This is highly unusual, considering snow rarely falls here and when it does it always seems to be gone within a few hours. Winnipeg was covered in snow too, but in the mid-west we only ever get the dry, flaky kind of snow which gets in your way and does little else. Here the snow is soaking wet and great for packing.

Last night Alyssa, Ray and I went for a walk. It was snowing again, and Ray and I were pelting each other with snowballs. I got the idea that we should go sledding, so we grabbed some lunch trays from the Student Union Building and took them to a nearby hill. Going was tough at first, but after a few runs we had forged some good paths and were getting a lot of speed.

“We’re heroes,” I told Ray. “Tomorrow people are going to find these paths made for them, and they’ll know what they have to do”. We left the lunch trays stuck in a make-shift monument, ready for anyone who came by to take them and use them.

This is what I love about Vancouver. There’s adventure (and fellow adventurers) everywhere, so long as you’re willing to go out to look for it. There’s just never any reason to be bored or lonely in this city.

January 6, 2009 at 2:01 am 1 comment

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