Supplement to Yesterday’s Post

November 21, 2007 at 7:52 am Leave a comment

As promised, more in-jokes no one cares about! Drop them casually into conversations to annoy your friends!

The fact that I insist on blogging about things no one in their right mind cares about is quite bizarre. Perhaps in the future I will do a post psychoanalyzing my own blog, showing how my choice of content is really an attempt to drive off readers as a defense mechanism.

I am the Sea Cucumber of Bloggers.

*****

Among my friends there is but one condemnation so damning that to receive it is to show you as the lowest of the low, the refuse of society, the scum of the Earth.

“You’re worse than Ben Stiller!”

For those not in the know, it is important to understand that this comes from a related in-joke wherein it is explained that “Ben Stiller is history’s greatest monster!”. This itself comes from the Rick Gervais comedy “Extras”, where Ben Stiller cameos as himself terrorizing actors AND Holocaust victims.

On a related note, everyone should make an effort to watch Extras. It’s hilarious.

*****

Sometimes you just hate something, but you have no rational reason for doing so. For example, say you hated french toast. How do you justify this hatred to friends? How do you explain to them a rage that is innately inexplicable?

Easy. You look them in the eyes and you tell them; “French toast started the fire that killed my parents.”

The phrase “(blank) started the fire that killed my parents” has become the catch-all for describing things you don’t like, no matter how ridiculous. My favourite so far? When wearing swimming goggles and talking about the weird rings they leave around your eyes, I was able to drop the line “Goggle-marks started the fire that killed my parents.”

Goggle Marks

My favourite jokes tend to be pretty nonsensical.

*****

One last shout out to all the kids back home:

‘This blog post is so cool it will eat your house’

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I Blogged About Your Mom Last Night Newsflash

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