This May Be the Greatest Thing Ever

October 23, 2007 at 7:21 am Leave a comment

Remember when I said I was going to talk about comics today?

It turns out I’m a terrible liar and I hate you all.

However, I’m not changing the subject out of spite. No, I’m changing it because something came up today that I can’t let go by without comment; Uwe Boll, the most reviled filmmaker alive, will be coming to my school to give a talk and answer questions.

The question we all want answered? “Why ya gotta do it, Boll?”

Seriously, this is the man who directed House of the Dead (4% on Rottentomatoes.com), Bloodrayne (another 4%), and Alone in the Dark (with an astonishing 1%). He’s bastardized more video game franchises than any man alive. Rumours persist that his films exist solely to exploit loopholes in German income tax law. And he’s coming here, of all places, to talk.

Ladies and gentlemen, this may be the greatest thing ever.

I would love to get a chance to talk to him and ask what the hell is up, but there are certain dangers involved. This is, after all, a man who challenged his critics to a series of boxing matches, devastated them in the ring, and plans to include footage of his brutal victory on his next DVD release.

What I’m saying here is that if I take Uwe Boll to task for sucking, he may beat the shit out of me. That’s something I’d like to avoid.

Still, an opportunity like this can’t be passed up. I’ll have to do all I can to meet with this man, who seems to make it his goal to destroy the medium I love.

It’s going to be grand.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: , .

This is actually kind of embarrassing DANGER DANGER DANGER!!!

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