Wherein I Brood on Film

July 15, 2007 at 11:02 pm Leave a comment

Ah, the glamour of the film business. Clearly I’ve chosen the best profession ever; right now I’m sorting through hundreds of pieces of film stock, holding each strip up to light to try to figure out what scene it’s a part of. This is made difficult by the fact it’s 8mm film stock, and each frame is about half the size of the fingernail on your pinkie. Once I have all of these sorted, I put them into individual ziplock bags so I can later edit the scenes together.

At the same time, I’m looking for a sepia-tone substitute to dye the film with, a process that involves looking at things and asking “is it brown? Will it dye things?”. This process has lead me to dip film stock in Coke, tea, coffee, hot chocolate and muddy water. After that I’m going to have to start using more bizarre concoctions to try and get the right colour.

And this doesn’t take into account the other things I’ve run film stock through, such as hot wax, modeling clay, fire, India Ink, acrylic paint, and a cheese shredder. There’s a method to all of this, but it seems bizarre when I explain it.

So, clearly a career that involves strange dyes, long hours sorting and bagging film, and even longer hours taping that film back together, is the greatest thing ever. I can see no flaw whatsoever with my chosen path in life.

Speaking of film; Jon, you still owe my an explanation of your and Stephen’s League movie idea. Don’t make me send ninjas to torture it out of you.

~Your Friendly Neighborhood Film Fiend

Editor’s Note: Why did I sign off that way? So many of these posts are embarrassing.

Real film-making is almost nothing like I describe here, but still equally tedious. In the coolest possible way, of course.


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