Last Words

April 1, 2007 at 10:32 pm Leave a comment

I’m currently running on the theory I’ll never have time for original content again; today my day was consumed by Kickboxing Grading, followed by non-stop work on a drama project. So instead of something original, I treat you to my collection of “Awesome Last Words” so as to fill the time between now and when I can actually create something of merit. Trust me, when you go out, you want to go out with a line as incredible as one of these.


“Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!”
~ Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging

“Nobody shot me.”
~ Frank “Tight Lips” Gusenberg, in response to a police officer who asked “Who shot you?”

“I should have drunk more Champagne.”
~ John-Maynard Keynes, Economist

“Boy, fetch my fiddle.”
Robert Roy MacGregor, an outlaw known as “The Scottish Robin Hood”

“I wish I was skiing.”
[Nurse: “Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?”]
“No, but I’d rather be skiing than doing what I’m doing.”
~ Stan Laurel, comedian, before dying of a heart attack

“I think I’m going to make it!”
~ Richard Loeb, after being slashed ninety times with a razor by a fellow inmate

“Me mudda did it.”
~ Arnold Rothstein, a.k.a. Mr. Big, when asked who shot him

“Y’all watch this!”
~ Robby Smothers, after he placed several firecrackers in his mouth and lit them simultaneously.

“Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.”
~ Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan

“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.”
~ Oscar Wilde

“I am just going outside. I may be some time.”
~ Lawrence Oates, on Scott’s ill-fated Antarctic expedition. Oates felt he was decreasing his companions’ chances of survival and voluntarily left the tent.

“I just had eighteen straight scotches. I think that’s the record…After thirty-nine years, this is all I’ve done.”
~ Dylan Thomas

“God Bless, God Damn!””
~ Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna

“Why yes, A bulletproof vest.”
~ Domonic Willard, just before his death by firing squad, when asked if he had any last requests

“Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.”
~ Francisco (“Pancho”) Villa

“Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!
~ Florenz Ziegfeld, Showman


And that’s all for tonight. Go home, kids.

EDIT: It appears my webspace provider has cut off access, so all the pictures I’ve had on here are gone. Now I need to find someone else willing to give me a bunch of free space.

Curses and daft. I’ll let you all know when I find some new space and can fix everything.

Editor’s Note: I wouldn’t end up getting new hosting until I started Milkshakes & Dinosaurs and started fixing old and broken entries. Right now all my images are hosted on Imageshack, which is presumably a secure place for them.


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April 2007
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